Adventures in Insanity: November 2008

Saturday, November 29, 2008

To the Lady on the Plane....

Dear Stranger Seated Next to Me,

Yes, my baby is screaming. No, I do not want your opinion on how I can quiet him. Also, you sticking your dirty stranger germ covered fingers (good lord, I watched you scratch your nose twice) in his face to pinch his cheeks will not help calm him down.

Now that I have gotten him quiet I continue to have no interest in you or your opinions. It does not take a village; it took a very tired mommy who was willing to nurse him in public despite the fact that "it wasn't done in your day." I bet in your day you didn't yammer so damn loud on your cell phone as to wake babies up either. Welcome to the twenty first century.

And, no, I don't know how to work your light, seat belt, or air vent. I cannot get your bag down for you so that you can find a tic tac. Please stop buzzing the flight attendents every fifteen minutes to see how long until we land; I can only disavow knowing you so many times. Furthermore, just as a minor pet peeve in the long list of sins you have managed to commit within the thirty minutes since I was sentenced to sit next to you, why the hell are you doing the crossword if you are going to look up each and every answer in the back? I mean, what's the point?

Lastly, when I finally close my eyes because both of my children are quietly sleeping and I can catch some zzzs the answer to the question of whether or not I want to talk to you is no.

I hope that whoever is picking you up shows up; the odds are not in your favor.

-me

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I think the kids are done.

Butterfly Exhibit

Waiting for the IMAX dino movie

So watching Jake experience 3d for the first time might be the very coolest parent moment ever as well as the funniest.
Pretty much he wore the glasses for the first ten minutes of the video, reaching out to touch every three d image. Then the argentinosaur came on the screen and he almost wet his pants. Glasses came off for the next forty minutes. As the credits are rolling he puts the glasses back on to try and grab the words that are being projected 3d. Then they surprised everyone with a t rex in three d at the last second. He jumped so high that I nearly wet my pants laughing.

For those of you who think I am too strict about what Jake eats here's today's lunch- 1/2 banana, fries, triceratops cookie (which I am only mildly convinced will give him cancer with all the crap that was in it)