Ahh, Calgon Take Me Away!

Ok, so the gremlins are asleep, Dave is working on something or another, and Gus is sleeping curled up at my feet. Heeheehee, I think to myself; I shall sneak off and (drum roll, please) take a bath without interuption. I quickly and silently steal upstairs. I run the water as quietly as possible, hoping that I don't alert one the MALE types to my impending pleasure and tranquility...
Oooooo, bath salts- DEFINATE YES! I have been saving these since we were in Hawaii last. Can't find a lighter, so I 86 the idea of a candle. The bathroom was just cleaned by the magical cleaning lady who shows up once a month to wag her head at me in disgust (which is why I try to never be the one home when she comes) and make everything girl-ish and clean. The towels are neat AND folded.

I descend into hot, liquid goodness. Lather my hair with my favorite organic shampoo. And then I hear it.

The lumbering sounds of Gus coming up the stairs. Ok, I think to myself, it could be A LOT worse. A gremlin could have awoken or something else truly disruptive. He whines at the door. I hop out of the tub, peek out the door to confirm that it is in fact the dog whining to come in and hang out (the other three pull the same routine), and let the fella in. BIG MISTAKE.

As I slip back into my tub to rinse my hair, Gus decides that bathtime looks like fun. And he dives right on top of me. In case you missed an important detail about Gus, he's a freaking Great Dane! A four month old one, but a Dane none the less,weighing in at 54 lbs at his four month check up. You might hope for my sake that he found bath time horrid and hopped right out. leaving me scratched up but alone for the remainder of my sweet bath time. No. He laid down right on top of me, nose to nose, and alternated between drinking the bath water and licking my face.

It was about as relaxing as dancing with a hornets nest, but much funnier. At least for Dave, who came in to see what the rucus was all about and almost fell down when he saw what was happening.

I never realized before that Marmaduke was non-fiction....


PS- I wanted a golden doodle....